Unusual Royal Nicknames: Kings with Eccentric Monikers

In a curious twist of royal commentary, former US President Donald Trump suggested that King Charles III adopt a more commanding title akin to that of William the Conqueror. According to the Daily Star, Trump expressed admiration for William’s name, describing it as “the coolest name he’d ever heard.” This playful suggestion invites reflection on the peculiar nicknames that some historical monarchs have earned over the centuries.

Kings with Colorful and Unfortunate Nicknames

Throughout history, several kings have been marked by their unusual and often unflattering epithets. One notable figure is John II, the Duke of Cleves, who ruled from 1481 to 1521. His nickname, John the Babymaker, stems from his notorious personal life. Despite being married, he fathered three legitimate children and a staggering 63 illegitimate ones. Ironically, Pope Innocent VIII awarded him the Golden Rose of Virtue in 1489.

Another emperor with a notorious nickname is Justinian II, a Byzantine ruler known as Justinian the Slit Nosed. After being overthrown in 695 by rebels who cut off his nose, he reclaimed the throne in 705. In a bizarre twist, he replaced his lost feature with a gold one, solidifying his infamous status.

The Byzantine era produced yet another memorable monarch, Constantine V, who was derisively called Constantine the Dung. This nickname reportedly originated from a legend claiming he defecated in the baptismal font as an infant.

Royalty and Their Peculiar Monikers

In the realm of peasant revolutions, Ivaylo of Bulgaria, who briefly held the title of tsar in the 13th century, earned the name Ivaylo the Cabbage. His humble origins led to a nickname signifying his modest roots, although some also referred to him as “the Lettuce.” His reign lasted just one year, which is slightly longer than the tenure of former UK Prime Minister Liz Truss.

On the other hand, Louis V of France was dubbed Louis the Do Nothing for his short reign of just one year in 987. He died tragically young at the age of 20, following a hunting accident, leaving no heir behind.

The enigmatic Eystein Halfdansson, an 8th-century king of Norway, is remembered as Eystein the Fart. While the origins of this nickname remain unclear, it undoubtedly adds a layer of intrigue to his legacy. His son, Halfdan the Bad Entertainer, suggests that the family name was not without its own peculiarities.

Additionally, John George I, the 17th-century ruler of Saxony, was affectionately called John George the Beer Jug due to his fondness for alcohol. His preference for drink over military campaigns became a defining aspect of his reign.

Other monarchs like Vasily, the Grand Prince of Moscow, and Vseslav of Polotsk also have their own unusual nicknames. Vasily was known as Vasily the Cross-Eyed, a name reflecting his physical appearance, while Vseslav was referred to as Vseslav the Werewolf, attributed to legends of his magical conception and shapeshifting abilities.

Lastly, Alfonso, the King of Galicia from 1188 to 1230, earned the nickname Alfonso the Slobberer. His notorious rages reportedly led to excessive drooling, a fitting moniker that has endured through time.

The history of these kings and their peculiar nicknames highlights the often humorous and sometimes unflattering nature of royal legacy. While some names evoke admiration, others serve as reminders of the more human aspects of those who have ruled throughout history.